The Big O

In this episode I talk about The Big O!! The power of pleasure and the Orgasm... How and why it is so important and ways to expand your capacity to receive Pleasure!

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Transcript

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Hello and welcome to the Big O Podcast. With me, your host, Emma Marini. I am an empowerment coach and public speaker, a visual artist and photographer, an author, a mumma three, and a firm believer in the transformational power of awakening to the magic of pleasure and joy. The Big O explores ways to elevate yourself into a place of personal power through creativity, wild self-love, and awakening to your own pleasure through the feminine energy of flow so that you can embody the world goddess that you truly are. It's time for you to get turned on by your own life and experience the big O. Hello and welcome back to the Big O. I am so excited to be here with you for this beautiful episode. We are literally talking about the Big O. Oh yes! Oh yes, we are here to talk about the absolute magnificent power of the orgasm and definitely the buildup towards that as well. Now, the thing is with the big O, it is so important because when we are in that moment, what you're actually doing is you are surrendering, you are allowing yourself to receive pleasure, the ultimate pleasure. Okay. And when you are in that place, you are so open, you are so there and available to actually enjoy that moment. You release all of the stresses, all of the tensions, all of the worries, all of those things that perhaps you have been holding on to for so incredibly long. And what you're actually doing is just surrendering. You are surrendering, okay? You are there in your divine energy, and you are allowing yourself to receive nothing but pleasure. Now, when you are getting to this point, and this is a conversation that I have within my uh pleasure challenges that I run and pleasure activations. The reason women can find that so incredibly hard to get to that point is number one, we are so used to being in control, we are so used to holding the reins, we are so used to holding everything together for everyone else, okay? And then that extends to us. The other reason is that we can be very, very disconnected from our body, from our actual pleasure. So when you are trying to build up to this, if this is something that you struggle with, this is something that you actually really would like to experience more frequently, would really like to experience fully, then really the first thing that you need to do is to reconnect with yourself, reconnect with your body so that you feel safe enough to be able to surrender, to be able to release when you get to that point. Okay. So connecting with your body, I think as a culture generally, we have become very disconnected. It can be seen as uh disrespectful, I suppose. It can be seen that there's lots of words out there that would describe it, like vulgar and things like that. And actually, what I really want to do here is to talk to you about how beautiful and natural it really is to connect to yourself and connect to your body. Okay, now this can start as very small things. Now, within my pleasure challenge, we actually go through this in depth, but just to kind of get you started, simple little things like touching your hand. Can you just feel how nice that actually feels? Our hands often get really, really neglected. And so perhaps just really lightly and gently stroking the back of your hand or the palm of your hand. Do you remember children? You do round around the garden, and it used to be just my favorite thing because it feels really, really nice. Now, how often do you allow yourself to feel little pleasures like that? So it could be one of those wire claw things that you use on your head and it just feels so tingly and beautiful. It could be, let's take this a step further. Perhaps you want to go and get a massage. It could be the clothes that you wear on your skin, really taking a note of the material and the way it feels on you, the sensations that you feel when you wear it. It's it could be the perfume you wear, the scent that you're putting on, and getting a whiff of that all day long and how good it smells and how much it lifts your mood. It could be the sounds that are around you, perhaps there's particular music style that you really love and how much that lifts you. And this is why when I teach you about the pleasure code and what that really means, it's taken into account all of those things. It could be the way that you move your body, the the touch, the sensations you feel on your skin, the environment, the affirmations, the things that you say to yourself, all of these things they add up and create that beautiful, beautiful picture of your own pleasure. This is your unique pleasure code. Now, if you want to find out more about this, then come and find me on my social media platforms at JoyusMisfit, or you can find me joysfitmisfit.com where you can come and learn a little bit more about that. So if you sign up for one of my free pleasure challenges, I will teach you all about this and you get to then identify your unique pleasure code. Now, if you can allow yourself to connect with that and you can allow yourself to connect with your pleasure, then the more you do that, the more you're actually releasing, the more you're programming yourself to be able to release, to feel safe enough to surrender, to feel safe enough to let go. Because actually, to be able to experience the big O, that is what you need to do. You need to be able to release. Now, when I went through this period in my life where I could not experience that very easily at all, I just remember feeling just tension, just this constant tension, and my brain would be going crazy about oh, I'm taking too long, this is this is taking too long. Um, and I'd just be so in my head that what was happening there is where I was sewing my head, I completely lost touch with my body and the sensations, and therefore I just I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel anything. And so, of course, if you think about that, if you can't physically feel anything, then of course the big O is going to be impossible to reach. So, connecting to your pleasure as regularly as you can in whatever way suits you. So I'm not just talking about your own self-arousal here, by the way, although highly recommend that. And I've even got a link in my bio on my Instagram and on my Facebook where there is my my top recommended product for that. So if you're unsure, go there. But what I'm talking about here are those tiny, tiny pleasures because I know how many women really struggle with allowing ourselves, with stopping enough, with surrendering enough to actually allow ourselves to receive pleasure. And by engaging in these small pleasures regularly, what you're actually doing is stretching your capacity to receive pleasure. It begins there. It might be that you give yourself a little face massage in the morning or in the evening before before you go to bed. Perhaps it is just allowing yourself to stroke your hand, stroke your stroke your arm, and just feel that to sit with that for a moment. So, particularly if you're somebody that that perhaps meditates at times, then then then merge that with a with a somatic practice, merge that with body movements that feel good. Um and and just explore it. What this is about, the first stage of this is exploring your pleasure. Explore what brings you pleasure. Come back to your body first. As if you are a listener, as you already know, I am a somatic trauma-informed coach, and it always starts with body. We always start with the reclaiming your body, and that is what you're doing here. These little incremental moments where you are reclaiming your body, you then get to reclaim your pleasure, okay? And the thing is, the thing about the big O is so important for us and our well-being because do you know it just does so much more, so much more than just feeling good, okay? It improves your immune system, okay? It boosts your antibodies. Can you believe that? Like by feeling that, by allowing that, you are improving your own immune system, it reduces pain, okay? So it helps to combat pain, like muscle pain, headaches, things like that, because of the chemicals, the endorphins that it receives releases when you get to that point. It improves cardiovascular function, okay? So it decreases heart disease and type 2 diabetes, it gives you a stronger pelvic floor, which, particularly if you've had children, you know, you know how much that we need these things. It also gives you better nights' sleep, okay? So the dopamine and the oxytocin they promote feelings of intimacy as well as rest and peacefulness, okay. And do you know what generally, and this is this is the big one for me, it improves your mood. It really improves your mood. The brain floods with endorphins that prov promote feelings of of bliss and bonding that increases your mood, okay. That that boosts that that makes you feel good, and I think one of the biggest problems here is there's some kind of guilt over feeling good, okay. It's like we think we should be doing, doing, doing, doing all the time, and actually enjoying something just for ourselves, investing in something just for ourselves that feels uncomfortable. And I almost feel like a lot of women, and I'm including myself a few years ago, rejected that. Rejected that. Now the problem is, is when you reject it, you are pushing away a huge part of yourself, the part of yourself that needs to release, that needs to receive pleasure, that needs to just let go of control. And the thing is with this one, you can have so much fun with this, right? You don't have to do this alone. If you have a partner, then perhaps include them in it. When you're feeling comfortable and safe enough to do that, then include them in it. Tell them what you're doing, tell them that you really want to explore receiving pleasure, okay? And when you have a supportive partner, they are 100% there and all in because I've actually had beautiful conversations with men about what they need, and what they need in a relationship is to have a purpose, so clue them in, okay? Tell them what you're doing, what you're exploring, how you're feeling, and they will want to fulfill that purpose. And trust me, they will really want to fulfill this, but really explain to them this is about you exploring lots of different things. So I would really emphasize, make sure that this is a partner that you feel very, very safe with. Because unless you feel safe, unless you feel safe, you cannot let go and surrender. You can't let go and surrender to sensations, you can't let go and surrender to to to feelings, to, to touch, to any kind of movement with somebody else, because you don't feel safe. So you have to feel safe first. And that's why if you're not in that place with your partner yet, then explore this through your own practices first. Do that first, and then as your relationship builds, then start exploring it with your partner, and but just clue them in and tell them that's let's try this, let's do this. Can you can you do this? And allowing yourself to let go and receive that pleasure coming out of your head and into your body. That is what this is all about. So, my biggest tip for today is feel the sensations on your body and start small. If this is new to you, if this is something that you want to build up, something that you have trouble with, then start small and build it up. We are stretching your capacity to receive pleasure here so that you can then get to the point of the big O and hopefully regular, okay. Remember, sex is not about your partner, it's about you both, okay. And I think particularly in the mum circle that I'm in, a lot of the conversations around sex is almost like it's a duty for for their husbands, for their partners. And what I really want to tell you here now is sex, orgasms, pleasure is as much for you. And if you are in a place where you feel like you are doing something as a as a kind of service to your partner for them, then I would really invite you here to re-evaluate that. And that starts with beginning to receive little pleasures for yourself. Now, I understand that this conversation may be very triggering for some of you, so please do come and have this conversation with me on my platforms. I would be so happy to chat with you there. And those of you that are thinking, those of you that are this is really resonating with, and you're thinking, how can I take this a step further? I have this beautiful 12-week intensive group program, it's a beautiful community, it's called Evolution, where we literally go through this, we go through it in depth, and this is all about you. And I know that investing in yourself is the hardest first step. I get that, okay, and that's why I am happy to talk to any of you one-to-one on a beautiful discovery call where you can get to know me a little bit better. So if you would like that, then just go to joysmisfit.com. Remember, I am often running a free pleasure challenge of some kind, whether it's pleasure activation, pleasure challenge. I will be running one quite soon where I go in depth about the pleasure archetypes, and I am so excited to share that with you. So keep an eye on the website and my social media platforms. I always put it out what I'm running, and come and join me. Come and join and come and reactivate your pleasure. Reclaim your body, reclaim your voice, reclaim your power. I am here for it all. So I cannot wait to connect with you in some way or another. And I look forward to any future conversations that we're gonna have. All right, take care now.