Activating your confidence through Pleasure Power!

In this episode I talk about how Pleasure can support you to activate your Confidence and how it can support you to embody the confident version of YOU!

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Hello and welcome to the Big O podcast. With me, your host, Emma Marine. I am an empowerment coach and public speaker, a visual artist and photographer, an author, a mumma three, and a firm believer in the transformational power of awakening to the magic of pleasure and joy. The Big O explores ways to elevate yourself into a place of personal power through creativity, wild self-love, and awakening to your own pleasure through the feminine energy of flu, so that you can embody the world goddess that you truly are. It's time for you to get turned on by your own life and experience the Big O. Hello and welcome back to the Big O podcast. Today I am talking about activating your confidence, which basically is all about reclaiming your voice. Now, what we need to think about here is what is the key to confidence, right? Well, of course, I'm pretty sure you know this. You know that I am the pleasure activator, and therefore, to me, the absolute key to activating your confidence and reclaiming your voice is activating your pleasure. Okay, now when it comes to your pleasure, essentially what that means is your truth. Pleasure is the most fantastic indicator to let us know what is true for us, what our true needs are, what our true desires are. And when you activate this, you get to activate your confidence, okay? And that is confidence in who you are and what you are saying, which of course triggers activating our voice. So when you know this, you are really becoming attuned to your true self, okay? That's what this is about. When you activate your pleasure, you are becoming attuned to who you truly are, what you truly need, what you truly want, your desires. And when you're in this place, this is such a place of power and possibilities, okay? Because from this place, you are able to express your needs, wants, and desires. Now, this episode today is stemmed from doing the most beautiful pleasure activation with the women in my group. Okay, now we have been thinking all week about reclaiming your body, reclaiming your voice, reclaiming your power. And actually, a real key to that is confidence. And if you can get to a place where you are so fully tuned in to your pleasure, your pleasure power, you get to really activate all of these. Now, a core principle for this is to really tune into your unique pleasure code. Now, if you would like to know more about your pleasure code, then please come and find me. This is what I teach, this is what it's all about. And there are five elements to your pleasure code, okay? And when you are able to trigger those five elements, then you will be able to trigger your pleasure, your true desires, your needs. And it is from that that is where your pleasure is centered, that is where your confidence is held, that is when you get to activate it. Okay. Now, the confidence element of it is when basically we are going to shift that pleasure, shift it from mind, and we are going to put it into body. And this is what embodiment is all about, right? We this is what the power of pleasure does. We are able to take all of that mind stuff and bring that into the body, okay, and that is where it is game-changing. That is where we get to really, really shift our physical reality. Because what we're doing here is we are telling our body that it is real, it is true, okay, and that is how it becomes a truth. And this is also how trauma, for example, can get stuck in your system. Because when you experience a trauma and you can really feel it within your body, then that is telling your body that it is a truth, and this is how you can get stuck into that because your protector parts then are developed to keep you safe. But often, as we then kind of move through that trauma, even when we are safe, our body can remain feeling unsafe, okay? And our protector parts kick in, and they are literally there to do their job, they're there to protect us, they are there to support us, to keep us safe, okay? So that is what's happening, and what we're doing here is when we're calling in our pleasure and we are using that as our guiding light, and we are feeling that within our body, then that is becoming our truth, okay? We are reprogramming ourselves, we are reprogramming our minds, we are stepping away from the negative patterns and we are creating new positive patterns that are very aligned with your true self. And this is where radical self-awareness needs to come first, that needs to come before. And actually, if you listen to all of my previous podcast episodes, the running theme through a lot of them is about that radical, radical self-awareness first, knowing yourself so fully, so truly, that when you then start stepping into your pleasure power, you are fully aligned. You know, you're very clear on what you do want, what you don't want. And actually, the work that I do directly with the women that I support, that is what we do. We really get clear first and foremost on your true self. Stripping away those good girl vibes, all the labels, all the protector parts that have been there to keep you safe, that have been there to create a life where even though you're not happy with it, you're comfortable. Okay. What we do first and foremost is we strip that away. We strip away your good girl, essentially, and we really tune into who you truly are, your absolute true self. And then we build on that. That lays such a beautiful, strong foundation for you to create a life that turns you on. And that is essentially the process that we use in my program evolution. We go through that process, it starts in body, it starts with the stripping away, with the understanding of true self, and then we step into the embodiment, and this is where confidence comes in. Confidence is the embodiment of you being fully aligned with yourself, fully aligned with your pleasure because it's your pleasure that truly shows you what you want, who you want to be. Okay, it is where you're fully aligned, and this is also where you find your purpose. And I know a lot of people seek to find what their purpose is. Well, I'm telling you now, pleasure is the absolute most perfect place to start with learning that, okay, because it helps you to uncover who you truly are, and to call in confidence. Then, when we when we call that in, what we're doing here is we we are using pleasure as the path, okay, and we are bridging the gap between where you are right now and where you want to be, okay. It's your guiding light, your absolute guiding light, okay. And what happens here, the the confidence comes when we get to shift those those thoughts that are in our mind of who we want to be and really bring it into the body and really, really feel it. So I've got a little bit of help here for you on how you can activate your confidence, okay? And obviously, if you want to go deeper on this, come and find me joyousmisfit.com or at joyousmisfit on all the platforms and come and talk directly to me. At any point, you can you can book in for a discovery call with me, and we can really look at where you are and what might support you on your personal journey. So, activating your pleasure. Now, as I've said to you before, pleasure is the guiding light, it can open you up and liberate you from fear. You just need to be brave enough to activate it. So if you are, let's do that. We are here. Number one, okay. Number one, ridding the shame around your pleasure. And do you know what the key way of doing that? Keep activating it and start really, really basic. Start, start where you are, meet yourself wherever you currently are, okay? So if you're at the point where you don't you feel like you don't even have the time to sit down and enjoy a hot cup of tea, start there. Make that priority. If that is what you want, if that will spark a little tiny bit of pleasure for you, start there. If you are in a point where you realize that your your clothes, the things you're wearing on your body feel scratchy, they don't feel nice, change it. Wear something on your body that feels nice or smells nice. That might be a piece of jewelry, that might be the material. Consciously thinking about the material that you're putting on your body, the way you do your hair. Start wherever you are, meet yourself where you are. Now, if you're a bit further along in the journey, then I would highly, highly recommend going down the big O route because what you're doing there, when you are allowing yourself to experience an orgasm and surrender into the big O, you are allowing yourself to receive. You are training your body to receive pleasure. So if you are there, if you are further along in your journey, then really activate the power of the orgasm, okay? Activate the power of physical pleasure. So let's get rid of that shame. This is something to celebrate and feel joyous about. There is nothing to be ashamed of here. And what I really want to be clear of is when you do this, you become the permission slip for other women to do it. So not only are you empowering yourself, you are empowering others. So keep on activating on a very physical level your pleasure, okay? Step two with activating your confidence, okay? Acknowledge your body cycles and seasons. Okay. Do not glamorize your old self. Treat your body right now as a fucking queen because that is what you are. And really honor your body cycles and seasons. Now, depending on what time of the month it is and which part of my cycle I'm in, my body shape can completely change. I can go from a size 10 to a size 16, depending on what time it is. I can have weeks where I feel so fully in abundance and love. And and everybody that I'm around, I just, I just, I want to be close to. I feel so much love for. I have other weeks where I literally want to be alone because quite honestly, breathing, somebody else breathing can irritate me and I am ready to kill someone. So please honor that. That is normal. And obviously, if you are going through hormonal changes, then that is going to be massively exaggerated. So please honor yourself. Look at your body with utter love and the service it's doing for you, okay? And honor that. Prioritize that, prioritize your self-care, honor your own cycles, and that again, again comes back to that radical self-awareness. So if you need support in that, then please come find me. This is what I do. Number three, okay, get so exceptionally clear on your needs first. What do you need? And that comes back again to honoring your body's cycles and your seasons. Come back to what you need. And what you need now is going to be very different from perhaps what you needed last year, last week, yesterday, okay. Honor your needs right now. What do you need right now? So this is so attuned to your cycles, okay? And when I said in the last point about not glamorizing yourself, I have a lot of women that come and work with me that say, I want to find myself again, okay? I want to find myself again. And there's always that again. And I really want to bust this open because there's a couple of points here. First of all, you obviously cannot go backwards. And quite honestly, do you really want to? Do you want to go backwards? And I think there's this thing about glamorizing this older version of ourselves. But do you know what? Where you are right now, you are the wisest you've ever been. You have learned so much. And yes, your body may have changed, but let's learn to embrace that. And actually, as part of evolution, Lisa Whisker, she's absolutely the most exceptional stylist. She has been in so many publications, she's amazing, and she has done a style empowerment masterclass for evolution that actually guides you through this because women in transition particularly really struggle with this. Now, the second layer to that is I really want to challenge you on this one because actually, what we're what we're missioning for here is is finding our true selves, becoming attuned to our true selves, and actually, your past self may never have been given the opportunity to find out who you truly are in the first place. Like I said, you are wiser now than you've ever been. So really honor who you are and where you are right now and get clear on those needs. Because actually, those needs are also your desires, your desires are also your needs, okay? And this is where pleasure is absolutely essential. Really tuning into your pleasure because that is your indicator. Whatever is showing up for you, good or bad, that is your indicator. That is like a guiding light, and that is telling you what you need, what you want, okay? Number four, make a positive list of qualities for yourself talk, okay? Really make a positive list about yourself. So, again, coming back to honoring yourself, and this can start so simply. It can start so simply. Just think of one thing. It might be the way you show up, the way you are, who you are to begin with. Then it might be something to do with your physical appearance. Just start small and build it. You are building this. So start with one simple thing because I know a lot of you find this incredibly hard. So start with one thing. And what I'd really say here is listen to those around you as well that are positive, that are a positive influence. Now, part of the pleasure code is about environment, and that includes people. So I want to be really clear here that you become the average of the five people you spend time with. So choose them wisely. Now, part of activating your pleasure and what you're doing each time you're doing that is you're expanding your capacity to receive, and that also means receiving the posity, the compliments for other people. Because as a woman, I know in my past version of myself found that incredibly hard. So allowing yourself to receive, receive the compliments, receive the possibility the positivity that you are receiving from other people. Allow it because every time you do, you're expanding your capacity to receive, and then that is going to influence your own self-talk, and you can add that to your list. Now, finally, and probably actually the most important point. Number five, do the thing you say you're going to do. And this is the bit that always, you know, undoes all this beautiful work here. This is part of honoring yourself. When you do the thing you say you're going to do, you are building trust for yourself. You are telling your protector parts that they can step down, they can stand down, that you don't need them because you are showing up for yourself. You are honoring your needs, your desires, your wants. You are honoring yourself. You are telling yourself every single time you do the thing you say you're going to do, you are boosting, you are enhancing your confidence because you are building confidence in yourself, in your word, in your values, in the way you treat yourself. Okay. So this is the absolute must here. The absolute must. So if you are saying, Oh, to activate my pleasure, then I need a cup of tea to start every day. Then do the thing. And I really want to be clear here that you are so incredibly strong. The fact that you are here with me, the fact that you are listening to this tells me that you are in a place where you are ready to really start honoring yourself. And the thing about strong people, particularly strong women, we are very highly independent. But there is something here that I want to bring into this that being independent also means knowing, understanding, and honoring where you need support. There is no shame in that. We are ridding shame here, and that does not make you weak, that actually makes you stronger. To be able to understand your needs so much that you know where you need to delegate the things that need doing and include people, that is an absolute strength, and that is gonna support you with this final point so much, okay? Because you are honoring yourself, you are able to do the thing you're gonna say you're gonna do if you are recruiting support within that, if you are building yourself a structure that is gonna allow you to do that, that is so fucking powerful. So let yourself do that, and that may be a partner, that may be a friend, that may be your own children. So, for example, to be able to get everything done, particularly when I'm here alone with just my children, then help getting them to help me, um, giving them jobs to do, they actually really love that. They are understanding as much as I understand their needs and what they need, they also understand mine now. They're getting a picture of that. So actually, my son is he so wants to be part of me, my world, and and he knows that a lovely cup of tea in the morning really does bring me a lot of joy. So that's what he does in the mornings. It's not every morning, but some mornings I wake up and he has made me a cup of tea, and it is so wonderful, and he receives so much joy around that too. So be open with this, communicate this because remember, when you activate this, when you activate your confidence, you're activating your voice, your way of expressing it. And when you express your needs with the people that care about you and love you, oh, then you are gonna be so fully supported, you are gonna be so nurtured, you are also honoring yourself, you you are really taking care of yourself here, and you are doing the thing that you said you're gonna do. Okay, so this is the most important step, and this is gonna support you with doing the other four steps as well. Oh my goodness, what an absolutely powerful um conversation here, and I would really love for you to come in and find me. I talk about this a lot, and my pleasure activations are there to support you in doing this, to support you through this process. Now, obviously, if you want to take this work deeper, there is lots of different ways that you can work with me, including my program Evolution. So come and find me at Joyce Misfit or joycemisfit.com, and I would love to continue this conversation with you. Thank you so much for listening, and I cannot wait to speak with you on next week's episode. Take care now. Bye.