The Big O Podcast... Oh yes, the BIG O(gasm) that we all need to experience, regularly... explores ways to elevate yourself and your business using your Pleasure! Where you learn how to step into the true YOU unapologetically! Unashamedly embodying your Femme Fatale energy so that you can be SEEN and HEARD, with pure magnetism! It's time for you to get turned on by your life and business, and experience the Big O!
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In this episode, I talk about how pleasure can support you to forgive yourself and move through shame and pain - and how this can powerfully open up your life!
I would love to continue this conversation with you. If you haven't already, check out how you can work with me on my website below or come and follow me on your favourite platform!
The Pleasure Code Academy is where you learn how to use your the art of Sensual Somatics - so if you are ready to take this work deeper, book a call with me using the link below!
Hello and welcome to the Big O podcast with me, your host, Emma Marini. I am the business dating coach, speaker, and photographer, also known as the Joyous Miss Fet. I use sensual semantics to help you to be seen, to be heard, and to be unapologetically you so that you can embody your deeply sensual feminine presence and become wildly magnetic in your life and business. The Big O explores ways that you can use your pleasure to elevate yourself and your business, where you learn how to relate and express yourself unashamedly, embracing your femme fatale energy. So it's time for you to get turned on by your life and business and to experience the big O. Hello and welcome back to the Big O podcast. Today I am here to talk to you about forgiving yourself. Now, a lot of people, when it comes to pleasure and joy, they often feel as though they aren't allowed and they hold themselves back from intimacy, from connection, from affection, from the things that they actually want to do. And this is often stemming from this feeling inside of you not deserving something. Now, this actually comes from a beautiful pleasure prescription call that I had with a client where we were talking about forgiving and forgiving, forgiving yourself specifically, because when things have happened in life as they well do, and we all know that mistakes happen, and we make mistakes quite regularly, actually. And what can happen there is that we hold on to that, and and through that, we believe that we don't deserve certain things in our lives or that we should have done things better. Now, there's two ways of living life, and it is number one is is holding this and is continuing to hold this and believing, teaching ourselves and affirming to ourselves and believing that those mistakes we made are things that shouldn't have happened, and if only you could go and reverse it, if only you could go and change the past, if only, if only, if only, if only. Now, those feelings, and I say this from personal experience as well, can be incredibly toxic for our system and they can spiral. And if you think about it, those feelings they can go on endlessly. So what I'm here to talk about is actually beginning to step away from that, because the other way of living is understanding that those things have happened, and usually those things have happened have taught us quite a lot. And it could be that they've taught us a lot about ourselves or a situation or a way of handling things that we've then learned and been able to use, to use to support ourselves, to support others. And actually, what can happen though is when we're in that spiral of thought about all the things that we've done wrong, then it means that we don't get to see the things that we're doing right, the things that we have learned. So I want to talk to you about what pleasure can do for you to support you in moving through this and in teaching you to allow pleasure and joy into your life when you've been in this spiral of guilt or resentment towards yourself. Okay, when you've been in a spiral of feeling like you don't deserve it, and therefore holding yourself back and not allowing yourself the things that bring you joy and pleasure. Now, the way in with these things is through body, and of course, one of the best ways in through body is pleasure. And I would always choose pleasure over pain, although I know some people do choose the alternative option. Now, what I would invite you to do if you are in a place like this is to come out of that just for a moment, okay, and and and put it down. And I want you to think to yourself, what are the things that you actually want? Now just start with one thing because I know thinking about what you want and what you need can be quite difficult when you are in this spiral. And what I often hear is, oh, I I I don't really need very much. I live a simple life, I don't really want very much. But it just takes that spark of that first thing to to help us get into this activity. So I want you to take a moment and I want you to think to yourself, if if we could wave a magic wand right now, what would I just love to be doing? If I could just put everything down that I'm I'm holding right now, that I'm doing, that I'm being, all the labels, whether it's wife, mother, whatever your job role is, just put that all down for a moment. If you could just do one thing that you wanted to do, what would it be? And it could be as simple as painting your nails, or maybe reading a book, or maybe having some time outside, maybe doing a class, doing some exercise, perhaps it's seeing a friend, having a cup of tea with them, talking, perhaps it's phoning a family member, whatever it is, just allow that to come to you and I want you to write it down, okay? And then allow yourself to expand on that and keep writing those things down. What if you could, what would you do? What is it that you really want? Is it space and time for yourself? Okay, if it's space and time for yourself, what does that actually look like? What does space and time for you look like? If it's rest, what does rest actually look like for you? And do not say doom scrolling on your phone. We want real rest. And remember, rest could be multiple things. It could be sitting there and laying there with your eyes closed and disconnecting from everything. It could be that, it could be going for a walk, it could be doing some form of exercise, it's it could be seeing a friend, it could be so many different things. It could be creating something, creating a piece of artwork. What does rest look like for you? Okay. So think of what you need and then start to think of what does that look like? Okay. Now I know that this doesn't make all of those other things go away just yet, but this is the first step. Acknowledging what you actually want, acknowledging what you actually need is the first step. Awareness is so absolutely crucial, and it is so helpful when it comes to healing and supporting yourself to move forwards. So once you've got that beautiful, beautiful list, um, I would like you to then think about okay, how can I prioritize one of these things? And I want you to look at your day. And if it's space and time you need, where are the natural pockets of time? Where are those natural dips in the day where you could potentially have maybe five, 10 minutes to start with? Perhaps there's an hour, perhaps there's an afternoon, or if not, how can you create a pocket of time? Now there's several ways you can create time for yourself by utilising the things that are already there that don't require any brain power. So, for example, my shower time, I often use that as a guided meditation time. So it's time that I would already be using to wash, but I'm using it in a way that's really supportive for my system. It could be your bedtime routine, it could be perhaps you know that you really want some time just to read a book, read a fictional book that that just takes your mind off the day. So perhaps that means going upstairs, getting ready for bed 10 minutes earlier, which is going to make no difference really to you. And once you're ready for bed, laying in bed with your book, okay? Even if you just read a page and you fall asleep, that's fine because you're giving your brain and the fact that you fell asleep, it means that that is achieving exactly what it needed to achieve. It is allowing your system to rest, to relax, to have that time purely for you. Now, the reason I am sharing this with you is because we can get so bogged down by the labels, by the roles that we play in day-to-day life. So, this here and this episode here is to really help you to disconnect from that and to help you to find who you are. Now, that is the purpose behind all of the work that I do. All of this works surrounding pleasure because it is pleasure, is is is such a portal, a doorway to open up to our true selves, to understand our true selves, and also to create a life that actually turns us on, that lights us up, that that every morning when we wake up, we want to live. Now, that is the purpose of doing this work, and this is why I'm sharing this with you. Okay. So for a moment, put down all the roles, put down all the labels. We're just placing them down, we're not abandoning everything. I want you to really just see this as something for you because when you do this, and then when you start acting upon these things that you've listed out, these things that you know that you want and you need, this is your way of rewiring, reprogramming your thought pattern and and helping you to understand that you do deserve this. Because what you're doing by physically doing this, by physically giving yourself pleasure and joy, through these things that you've just listed, you are teaching your body, you're teaching your mind that you deserve it. And through doing that, what you're actually doing, this is this is the physical act of forgiving yourself. This is the physical act of allowing yourself to have the things you want, of of feeling as though you do deserve it. And the more that you prioritize this and the more you do this, the more that you retrain your brain, your mind. And it's just such a beautiful way of starting to lead a completely different life. Now, if it's helped you and supports you, what you can do is vision maybe three months from now, six months from now, a year from now, what would it feel like to really be fully embodied as that person, that person that gives herself that time on a day-to-day basis, that lives that life, that is not just driven by what you're doing for everybody else, but is actually driven by the things that actually are going to serve, nourish, and support you. Because as we all know, and I've said this so many times, you cannot pour from an empty cup. Okay, so you need to fill your cup up first, you need to prioritize your time so that you are nourishing yourself, and actually by doing that, you will be able to show up with a much greater capacity for others, okay? So I really invite you to do this, and then I would love, love, love for you to come and find me. So, those of you that are new to this podcast, you can come and find me at Joyous Misfit on all the social media platforms, and you could even come and join my pleasure code community on Facebook. It's a beautiful group. At the moment, we have I think it's around 500 women in there. So a lot of women that are there with you on this journey that want to call in more pleasure, more joy, more intimacy, more affection, more love, all of this juicy good stuff into their life. And I am there to support you. And as you will see, I have my pleasure alchemy masterclass coming out. There are pleasure prescription calls that you can book on with me, and there are multiple different ways of working with me, connecting with me. So if you want to talk to me a little bit more in depth about this, then please do come and find me, come and connect with me, DM me, we can chat, and I would love to book a call with you. So thank you so much for listening. Don't forget to feedback. What is your absolute core thing that you want and need to live that pleasure led life? Do share it with me. And I look forward to seeing you next week. Take care now. Bye.
